After 25 years in the mental health field as a student, counselor and psychologist Dr. Jennifer Kos has come to the point in her journey that she realized we are all searching; searching for answers, comfort and a sense of belonging. Her new book, The Normalcy Fallacy, is the culmination of observed stories, fictionalized to persevere confidentiality where indicated, collected resources from other professionals, and challenging questions that are designed to lead us away from pathologizing the human experience and embracing the ideal world where “normal” is simply that which is healthy, safe, and loving.
Dr. Kos’ educational and clinical background includes undergraduate work in psychology and education, graduate work in counseling, and a doctorate in clinical psychology. With having multiple clinical licenses in two states, however, she continues to see the value in moving beyond the confines of pathology and diagnosis to the deeper work of self-awareness, self-healing and with a deep respect for intuition and belief in Self. Dr. Kos stated, “As I move away from the clinical work of diagnosis and treatment, I look to embrace seeing us all as in need of acceptance, love, and healing.”
This movement toward coaching and consultation seeks to reach into those spaces beyond our illness and into our strengths. Dr. Kos will meet you where you are and together you can do the deeper work of self-exploration, acceptance, healing, and thriving.
Dr. Kos was asked if you could give two quotes to someone starting a business, what they would be and why? Her response was straight forward responding, “Know Yourself and Know Your Audience. Without a level of self-awareness it is incredibly difficult to truly know ‘what I want to be when I grow up.’ So many adults, even into their middle and later years, continue to joke about not knowing what they want to do. Knowing and understanding our own interests, passions and values makes it less difficult to find and follow a path. You may want to be a therapist, but what kind? What area? What specialty? These are answered by knowing ourselves well enough to understand not only what we want to do but also what we absolutely do not want to do.”
When it comes to Knowing your audience Dr. Kos leads into understanding the dynamics of the chosen business and who is going to fund it. She stated, “Not only knowing your targeted audience but if there is an audience at all, or at least one large enough to support your business.” You may know yourself, your interests, values and passions, and be incredibly good at what you do, but if there is no audience for the service or product there is not a business.
Her book, The Normalcy Fallacy, would be the current product that could be described as one of the most innovative in her career right now. It discusses the impact that seeking normalcy has on our emotional health and how to break down the idea of being normal into doable parts.
Current innovative services include consultation and coaching around emotional intelligence, deconstructing normalcy, stress and anxiety regulation, communication skills, and support through major life transitions.
The third and most innovative service is tarot lead, intuitive coaching sessions. This particular option adds an element of Source lead feedback and challenge for those who are open to that way of looking into the past, present, and future.
Besides the obvious difference in offering tarot as an adjunct to traditional coaching and consultation, what provides a unique spin on her services is the focus on creating healthy, safe, loving space to explore a person’s needs, goals, and obstacles. Dr. Kos stated “ Often, behaviors and thoughts are driven through a lens of pathology, trying to figure out “what is wrong with me” instead of looking at the function of these less desired behaviors and thoughts as normal parts that are maladaptively doing a ‘job.’”
She continued by stating, “Taking the ‘abnormal’ and working with a person’s skills, strengths and opportunities to create space where they can normalize what is ultimately so very human about the experience. This is not about approving of harmful, unhealthy or abusive behaviors, but finding the source of these obstacles and challenging the person to change in ways in the now to promote health, safety and a loving space to operate from into the future.”
As a therapist and psychologist of over 25 years there has been a natural movement away from “diagnosing and treating” people to seeing, understanding, and supporting people in their personal quests to improve their current and future life. Dr. Kos got into the industry as a freshman in psychology 101. Originally scheduled as a communications and public speaking major. The moment she sat in a class and heard the theories of Freud, Jung, Maslow, and Erikson, she knew her life course had been permanently altered. “I had no idea what I was going to do in this field, but I knew it was my field to do it in, whatever that it was. There have been many ‘its’ over the years, but the field has remained the same,” said Dr. Kos.
She continued passionately saying, “To recognize that there is a power within each person that they can tap into to become a healthier, safer, more loving version of themselves that ultimately will not only improve and change their life but improve and change the lives of everyone they come into contact with. That adolescent part of me that wanted to change the world, to make it a better place before I left it, drives me to keep trying.” Dr. Jennifer Kos is constantly working on the three pillars of health, safety, and love that can deconstruct and rebuild the concept of normalcy. Dr. Kos understands and studies Guilt as a deeply motivating emotion that binds people to unhealthy behaviors and recognizes anxiety as a physical and psychological experience that can be not only debilitating but also incredibly motivating and powerful to create positive changes. Moving forward she has documented all and more in her new work The Normalcy Fallacy to guide people into a brighter and beautiful future.
