By: Jason Gerber

Poetry has the power to distill complex emotions into a few carefully chosen words, revealing hidden layers of meaning and prompting deep reflection. In the poem In Praise Of Restraint, the author shows the tension between visibility and silence, modesty and desire. This thought-provoking piece is part of a collection that pairs poems with paintings, creating a unique fusion of visual and literary art. 

The poem provides a deep exploration of the emotional struggle of holding back, particularly from the perspective of a woman facing societal expectations. In this article, we discuss the themes and emotions conveyed in the poem, showcasing the author’s talent for portraying inner conflict with grace and subtlety.

Art of Holding Back

The poem opens with a series of stark imperatives: “not to write,” “to hold back,” “not to voice,” and “to shut up.” These lines immediately establish a tone of suppression and restraint, setting the stage for a reflection on the tension between self-expression and societal expectations. 

There is a clear emphasis on the act of holding back, choosing not to speak, not to stand out, and not to disclose one’s inner thoughts and emotions. The repetition of “not” emphasizes the burden of self-restraint, drawing attention to what is left unsaid and undone.

This restraint is not just a personal choice but also a reflection of societal pressures, particularly on women. The poem hints at how women, in particular, are often expected to be modest, to occupy the background, and to avoid drawing attention to themselves. These themes of silence and invisibility are mirrored in the second half of the poem, which focuses on a “woman in the last row,” reinforcing the idea of being relegated to the margins.

Quiet Desperation

The imagery of the “woman in the last row” is especially poignant. She “lowers her eyes,” a gesture of submission or avoidance, and is “casually dressed,” further emphasizing her desire to blend into the background. She is not there to be noticed, at least not overtly. Yet, beneath this exterior of modesty, there is a deep hunger for attention, a “bulimic” desire, as the poem states.

This choice of the word “bulimic” is striking and significant. Bulimia, a disorder marked by cycles of binging and purging, here is a metaphor for the internal struggle between wanting attention and feeling compelled to reject it. It’s a powerful way to convey the conflict between wanting to be seen and fearing the consequences of visibility. The woman’s desire for attention is intense, yet it must be hidden or restrained, just like her other expressions of individuality.

The poem shows a picture of someone who is constantly swallowing her own needs and desires, holding them back until they manifest in this quiet, almost painful longing for recognition. There is a deep sadness in this portrayal, a sense that this woman, like so many others, has been conditioned to suppress her voice and identity, even as she longs to be noticed.

A Double-Edged Sword

While In Praise of Restraint suggests that there can be dignity in modesty and silence, it also raises important questions about the cost of constant restraint. Is there strength in holding back, or is it simply a way to avoid rejection or judgment? The poem explores this tension, leaving the reader to reflect on how much of our self-expression we suppress in the name of modesty or fear.

By focusing on the figure of a woman in the last row, the poem brings attention to the often-overlooked people in our lives, those who are quietly present but whose internal struggles and desires remain hidden from view. The poem encourages us to consider the ways in which societal expectations, especially around gender, shape the way we present ourselves to the world and how we handle the delicate balance between invisibility and recognition.

Subtlety in Art

What makes In Praise of Restraint so compelling is the way it uses subtlety and understatement to convey powerful emotions. Much like the woman it describes, the poem itself is quiet and restrained yet packed with meaning. 

The author’s ability to raise such deep emotional resonance with so few words reflects their poetic skill. The accompanying paintings in the book serve to enhance this effect, providing a visual representation of the themes explored in the text.

Through the combination of poetry and art, the author offers readers an immersive experience that challenges them to reflect on their relationships with silence, modesty, and self-expression. This collection is more than just a series of poems. It’s a journey into the unspoken, the hidden, and the restrained aspects of our lives.

Conclusion

The book appreciates art that probes beneath the surface of human experience. With each poem and painting, they offer a new perspective on themes of identity, desire, and the complexity of human relationships. 

In a world where we are often encouraged to speak up and stand out, In Praise Of Restraint reminds us of the power of silence. It’s a quiet yet deeply impactful work that will leave readers reflecting on the ways in which we navigate visibility, attention, and the urge to be seen. If you want to enjoy Sari Fishman’s poetry collection, order your copy today!

Published by Rain S.