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There has been a noticeable pushback against the LGBTQIA+ community at large in recent years. With certain swathes of the population erring to the far right, with state governments fighting LGBTQIA+ material in schools, and the rise of anti-trans laws nationwide, it has been a season of upheaval for the LGBTQIA+ community — perhaps nowhere more so than the South.
The Southern United States has historically trended conservative — after all, it’s called the “Bible Belt” for a reason. For those in the LGBTQIA+ community growing up or living their adult lives in these ultra-conservative states, it can seem like a continuous uphill climb to achieve equality. According to the Arcus Foundation, 93% of LGBTQIA+ people live in negative-equality or low-equality states. This blatant disparity in the Southern states led one member of the LGBTQIA+ community to strike out on his own and form a nonprofit aiming to provide much-needed support and empowerment to underserved LGBTQIA+ communities.
Kollyn Conrad knows the difficulties faced by the LGBTQIA+ community in the South well. Born and raised in Knoxville, Tennessee area, he often felt like the odd kid out, which made him a prime target for local bullies. “Growing up in the South made me feel unrecognized and uncared for as a queer individual,” Conrad says.
Conrad’s nonprofit Publicly Private was born out of the overwhelming need for support for the LGBTQIA+ community in the South. Conrad knew that the South didn’t just lack resources, but many areas and governments, both local and statewide, were behaving outright hostile towards the queer community.
“The statistics continue to show the LGBTQIA+ community in the South [US] needs aid. Many live without access to affirming resources. The purpose of Publicly Private is to bring those resources to them discreetly and conveniently.” explains Conrad.
An assault on LGBTQIA+ rights
The last 5 to 10 years have brought an onslaught of anti-LGTBQ+ legislation, with attempts to regulate everything from trans girls’ involvement in sports to stopping drag shows. The uptick in anti-LGBTQIA+ rhetoric has harmed the community, forcing many of those within it to remain in the closet, silence their voices, or — even worse — cause harm to themselves.
According to the Trevor Project, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide or have suicidal ideation than their peers. The lack of community support and resources available, especially in the South, can have devastating consequences.
“As for supportive resources, there were none to my knowledge,” says Conrad. “I found some support through confiding in a few friends. However, this was not enough for me to feel comfortable living my life openly. It resulted in me moving across the country in search of a community that would accept me.”
Like Conrad, many members of the LGBTQIA+ community lean on a “found family” to live their lives openly and authentically. And, like Conrad, many of them also have to leave their homes in search of more accepting communities. Conrad’s life experiences mirror that of many of his LGBTQIA+ peers, and those experiences are what led him to start Publicly Private.
Living out loud
Publicly Private is designed to fulfill the support needs of the LGBTQIA+ community in the South. The resources they provide are private, secure, and completely virtual, allowing all community members to access assistance whether they are out or not. Acting as a virtual “found family, ” Publicly Private allows people to explore their sexual identity and orientation and provide mental health support.
After Conrad moved from his home state of Tennessee to Los Angeles, he was struck by the supportive environment to be found in California. Knowing that many Southern-born LGBTQIA+ people had left their homes for more supportive communities, Conrad felt a virtual support option would be most helpful. “Understanding the pain of relocating far from anything familiar, the thought that online support could be the answer to the void I felt helped conceptualize Publicly Private,” he explains.
Conrad’s own experience in “figuring out how to be a gay man” gave him the inspiration for Explore by Publicly Private, a part of the site that allows for discussion and education for the community by the community, removing the guesswork from the picture of how to live out and proud.
A dream realized
Starting a nonprofit for the LGBTQIA+ community had been a dream of Conrad’s for years — one that was realized through years of self-reflection and more than a little struggle. Like many creators and entrepreneurs, the Covid-19 pandemic was a turning point for Conrad.
“The pandemic played a huge role in propelling this dream to the forefront. Around that time, I felt as if my life had started to circle back around,” he explains. After some mistakes and missteps in his life, Conrad finally felt ready to stand up and fight against the legislative assault on his community, lest the negativity continue to bring him to low places. “Choosing to fight, I placed myself in therapy and began mapping my life into something purposeful.”
After a life of lessons learned, Conrad offers “something purposeful” to his community: an invaluable resource that could transform and even save lives. “The toughest lesson I learned as a gay male was to accept myself and find a way to do so safely,” says Conrad. “Like many others in the LGBTQIA+ community, my physical safety and mental health were challenged on this journey to live my truth. LGBTQIA+ awareness and resources could have filled the void. I am on a mission to bring this to a community that desperately needs it — a community whose pain and struggles need validation and support.”
