Introduction

Every year brings with it a new set of dating trends. 2024 is no different, but this year, singles are turning their focus inward. 

Bumble conducted a survey of over 25,000 daters and summed up their results by saying that “Daters are looking at 2024 as the year of self.” 

Here’s what they found and what it means for you and your dating life. 

Dating in 2024: The Year of Self

Bumble, a lead dating app, found that singles are changing how they date in three big ways: 

1. Forgoing their search for perfection in favor of accepting flaws. 

2. Removing pressure to find “the one” by a certain time. 

3. Prioritizing emotional vulnerability and shared priorities over physical attraction. 

This is a departure from previous trends of wanting to find people who are constantly bettering themselves. Singles are switching to self-help podcasts and 5 AM spinach smoothies for self-love, social awareness, and being in touch with your authentic self. 

68% of the women they surveyed are taking active steps to be happier with how they are now, and 40% of women say they will only date people who won’t try to change that. 

Also, 32% of the singles Bumble questioned believed that emotional intimacy is more important than sex. They’re putting less importance on physical attraction and more on how they click with one another, especially as it pertains to their emotions and values. 

This parallels the trend of “slow dating”—a newer trend that emerged during COVID-19 and encouraged singles to take longer to get to know each other before deciding to move forward with their relationship. Bumble found that people are spending longer texting on their app before they move a budding relationship to the real world, and 31% of respondents say they are actively slow dating and being considerate of who and how often they’re going on dates. Serial dating is becoming a thing of the past. 

What does this mean for you and your dates? Whether you want to partake in slow dating, prioritizing emotional intimacy and acceptance or not, one thing is true: being authentic to yourself is more important than ever before. 

How to be authentic while on dates

How often have you scoured the internet for tips on how to impress your date? Be kind, ask questions, don’t eat too much or too little, don’t talk about your hobbies too much, show interest in their hobbies no matter what, nod and smile and agree. 

In a culture that is starting to value transparency and authenticity more, this pre-date ritual is likely to go out the window. 

Instead, what you can do to prepare for a date is to simply be authentic. 

Dating can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. How can you truly be yourself and forge meaningful connections with others? Here are some tips to help you stay authentic on your dates:

• Know Yourself: Before going on a date, take some time to reflect on who you are, your values, and what you’re looking for in a relationship. Understanding yourself is the first step to being authentic with someone else.
• Communicate Honestly: Be open and honest about your opinions, feelings, and experiences. Authenticity thrives on genuine communication, so don’t be afraid to share your thoughts and emotions with your date.
• Listen Actively: Authenticity isn’t just about expressing yourself—it’s also about listening to your date. Show genuine interest in what they have to say, ask questions, and engage in meaningful conversations.
• Be Vulnerable: While it can be scary to show your vulnerabilities, being open about your fears, insecurities, and past experiences can help you build a deeper connection with your date. Vulnerability can lead to greater intimacy and understanding.
• Stay True to Your Values: Don’t compromise your values or beliefs for the sake of pleasing your date. Stay true to who you are and what you stand for, even if it means disagreeing on certain topics.
• Embrace Imperfections: Nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to show your flaws and quirks. Embracing your imperfections can actually make you more relatable and endearing to your date.
• Follow Your Instincts: Trust your gut feelings. If something doesn’t feel right or authentic to you, it’s okay to speak up or take a step back. Your intuition can guide you towards relationships that align with your true self.

Remember, authenticity is the key to building genuine and lasting connections with others. Stay true to yourself, communicate openly, and be willing to show both your strengths and vulnerabilities. By being authentic on your dates, you’re not only fostering meaningful relationships but also honoring your true self. Trust in your authenticity, and let your brightest self shine through.

How relationship therapy can help (and what it is)

Dating can sometimes feel like a tightrope walk, where you’re trying to strike a balance between being true to yourself and making a connection with another person. It’s only natural to want to present your best self, but what if you can’t quite figure out who that is? This is where relationship therapy for individuals can make a significant impact. 

Understanding Authenticity

Authenticity, at its core, means being true to yourself and expressing your genuine thoughts and emotions. It involves embracing your strengths and vulnerabilities, owning your values, and being comfortable with your imperfections. However, fully embodying authenticity can be challenging, especially if you’re grappling with unresolved personal issues or struggling with self-doubt.

The Role of Relationship Therapy

Relationship therapy is often associated with couples, but it can also benefit individuals seeking to improve their dating experiences. Here’s how therapy can help you embrace authenticity on your dates:

1. Self-Exploration: Relationship therapy establishes a safe and non-judgmental space to delve into your inner world, encouraging self-reflection and introspection. Through therapy, you can gain clarity on your values, beliefs, needs, and desires. This self-awareness lays the foundation for authenticity in your dating life.

2. Uncovering Past Baggage: Everyone carries emotional baggage from past experiences that can affect present relationships. Therapy can help you process and heal from past hurts, enabling you to let go of any emotional baggage that may be hindering your ability to be authentic and form healthy connections.

3. Building Self-Esteem: Low self-esteem can be a barrier to authenticity. Relationship therapy can support you in developing a positive self-image, challenging self-limiting beliefs, and fostering self-compassion. When you genuinely value and accept yourself, it becomes easier to embrace and express your authentic self when dating.

4. Communication Skills: Effective communication is key to forming authentic connections. Therapy can equip you with the tools and skills to express your thoughts, emotions, and needs in a healthy and assertive manner. Learning to communicate authentically helps foster trust and understanding in your dating relationships.

5. Setting Boundaries: Authenticity requires setting and maintaining boundaries that align with your values and needs. Therapy can help you establish and communicate your boundaries effectively, teaching you to navigate the dating landscape with confidence and assertiveness.

Taking the Leap into Authenticity

Embracing authenticity on dates can be a transformative experience, allowing you to attract people who appreciate and resonate with the real you. While relationship therapy can be highly beneficial, remember that it’s a collaborative process. Finding a therapist who understands you is paramount. For example, Lifebulb—a leading mental health practice—matches clients with a therapist based on their needs and goals and makes it easy to switch between therapists if it doesn’t work. 

Remember, authenticity is an ongoing journey rather than a destination. Therapy provides the guidance and support necessary to navigate this journey and foster meaningful connections on your dates. By investing in relationship therapy for individuals, you can pave the way for a brighter and more authentic dating experience where genuine connections can thrive.

Published by: Martin De Juan