Someone you know has died, and you plan to attend the funeral. The thought of this event has filled you with uncertainty. If you haven’t attended many funerals, you may feel insecure about going.

You are not alone in your concerns. Attending a funeral service can be stressful, especially if you are unsure how to behave. It would be best if you did not worry because all you need are manners and common sense. A few behaviors should be avoided, though, in order to spare the mourners’ feelings.

1. Do Not Ask the Cause of Death

Sometimes, the cause of death is not publicly revealed, leaving you in the dark about the situation. Close family and friends already know, so if you haven’t been told, do not ask. Your curiosity is normal, but explaining the circumstances of the death will often upset the mourners. Also, in some situations, the family does not want to share that information. So keep your curiosity in check.

2. Dress Appropriately

In decades past, people would dress formally for a funeral. Dress codes have loosened somewhat. Still, you should wear clothes that are in good condition. Generally, darker clothes are appropriate for a funeral. Unless it is a cultural norm to dress in bright clothing or a specific request by the family, stick to subdued colors.

3. Keep Quiet

A funeral and a wake are two different events. While a wake can be full of laughter and even rowdy, a funeral is a quiet event. It would be best if you arrived a little early, but while you wait, keep chatting to a minimum. Turn off your phone and put it away. A ringing cell phone is a jarring interruption to the service.

Prepare any children you are bringing ahead of time. You may want to leave the small ones at home, both to maintain quiet and because they may not be ready for a funeral. A funeral service and wailing babies do not mix unless the family requests they attend.

4. No Photos or Posts

Society has gone a little photo crazy with many people documenting everything they do. A funeral is not the place to take photos unless the family requests that you do. You will invade the other mourners’ privacy as they try to grieve.

Also, do not post about the funeral online unless asked to do so. Again, the family gets to decide what information to give to the public. Let them handle this part of the process. Remember, the funeral is about what the family wants and the deceased requests. You are a respectful guest.

Having Proper Funeral Etiquette

A funeral is always a sensitive time, and the family is naturally vulnerable. Proper funeral etiquette means showing respect to the deceased and the family. Often, this means staying in the background. If they want you to participate, they will ask.

A skilled funeral provider will manage the entire service and set the tone. A tasteful and effective service serves the needs of everyone and effortlessly informs the behavior of those attending. Effective planning makes following funeral service etiquette easy.

Published by: Nelly Chavez