By: Anthony Harmon
Indian Wells, CA – In a tale that rivals the epics of old, a new hero rises, not from myth, but from the sun-kissed shores of Hawaii. After three arduous years of design, sourcing, manufacturing, molding, packaging, shipping, and, of course, testing, testing, and more testing, the world is finally introduced to a revolutionary product set to redefine personal grooming forever.
On July 14, 2024, the man from Hawaii, rumored to be a descendant of the great Duke of Waikiki, or perhaps even royal Hawaiian lineage, will journey across the seas to mainland California. He will make his grand entrance at the annual ECRM Personal Care and Body Extravaganza in Indian Wells, clutching a product that promises to change lives forever. Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves for the unveiling of the crown jewel of personal grooming: The G-Stick.
This is no ordinary stick. Oh no, this is THE G-Stick—a multifunctional marvel. One side boasts a screw-on attachment system with options like a scrub brush, foot spa, and even a shoehorn. On the other side, a retractable 145-degree locking mechanism cradles any razor, extending your reach by a glorious 22 inches. The result? You can, and you will, get every hair, everywhere. Prepare to be TOO SMOOTH.
But how did this ingenious patent-protected invention come to be? The founder, left to his own devices when his sons went off to college, found himself facing a relentless foe: three pesky, out-of-reach hairs on his back. Reminiscing about the good old days when his boys would help him out, he decided to take matters into his own hands—or rather, his own stick. Armed with a wooden ruler, a protractor, some duct tape, and a razor, he fashioned the first prototype of what would become the G-Stick.
The eureka moment came when a friend, a seasoned nurse practitioner, stumbled upon the G-Stick in his bathroom. Her reaction was nothing short of a revelation. “Do you realize what you’ve created?” she exclaimed. For 30 years, she and countless bedside nurses had been searching for a tool like this. It wasn’t just a grooming stick; it was a lifeline for those with limited mobility—grandmas, bed-bound patients, people with back problems, and even paraplegics. The G-Stick had the potential to bring independence and dignity to grooming routines worldwide.
However, there’s one critical piece of advice if you ever meet the founder in person: do not, under any circumstances, suggest that the G-Stick is “just a stick.” One curious soul made this mistake, only to be met with a response that will go down in infamy.
“Son,” the founder began, eyes flashing with intensity, “why don’t you just go ask the popsicle, or Matchbox Twenty, or the freak’n National Hockey League, or that Kentucky Colonel way down yonder at KFC—he’ll drum up an answer for you real quick. Or heck, bigger than his beautiful bluegrass state. Go ask China, for God’s sake—chop-chop to it. How are they going to eat? Or Big Orange, that powerhouse Syracuse University lacrosse team with their ten national championship titles, the most in NCAA history. Go ask them if it’s just a stick. Go on,” he said, waving his hand dramatically, “tell them it’s just a stick.”
As the founder walked over the horizon, he sang, “Lady, when you’re with me I’m smiling, give me all your love,” before pausing and adding, “I’m sailing away.” Then, he turned back one last time, shouting, “Go ask Billboard’s top recording artist if it’s just a…!” And poof, just like that, he disappeared into the abyss.
So now, on the cusp of a grooming revolution. The G-Stick, derived from its formal name, the “Grooming Stick” (https://GroomingStick.com), is more than a product; it’s a testament to human ingenuity and the power of addressing even the smallest problems with innovative solutions. As everyone turns the page to this new chapter, remember: the world is about to get a lot smoother. Get ready to embrace the G-Stick and say goodbye to those hard-to-reach hairs. And say hello to beautiful, well-groomed people from all over the world. The future of grooming has arrived, and this historical moment is being presented for the first time ever by the original old ‘G’ himself. It’s simply TOO SMOOTH to ignore.
Grooming Magic, Inc.
55 Merchant Street
Honolulu Hi, 96184
G-Stick:
Suggestive Retail $14.95
G-Stick Plus:
Suggestive Retail $19.95
Published by: Martin De Juan
