“Joy doesn’t choose you; you choose it.”
Joy is the gift that keeps on giving. The more we feel it, notice and appreciate it, the more it will multiply. It’s unique because it’s free, and available to all of us no matter who we are, what we do or where we live in the world. Joy fills us up and spills over to those we interact with because joy is contagious. It’s a gift of meaningful connection, creative expression, and authentic living. Given all of this, we might wonder what keeps us from jumping on the ‘joy wagon?’ The answer goes back a millennia, according to Roy Baumeister, Ph.D. a professor of social psychology at Florida State University, who dubbed the term ‘negative bias’. He shows that the thoughts that governed us when danger roamed the savanna, ready to ambush and kill us at any moment, still exist now. The problem is that this mindset is no longer useful for us today.
The welcome news is joy is a powerful gift that can help us navigate the negatives and boost the positives. And it’s attainable to all those who seek it. There are many benefits to being joy-filled. In fact, when we are feeling joyful, that feeling radiates out to all those we come into contact with and not only makes us feel better, however, our joyfulness can make others feel better too. Scientific studies have proven that stimulating joyful feelings releases chemical messengers’ cells called “neurotransmitters”, these neurotransmitters carry signals to our nerves and other cells in our brain that release feel-good hormones known as dopamine, endorphins and serotonin to lift our mood and well-being.
What’s important to recognize is that joy is a choice and if we want to live our best life, a conscious mental shift is necessary. When we have a joy-filled mindset, it helps us to reset our old way of thinking. When we are joyful, we can focus on what’s right and good in life rather than concentrating on what’s bad, wrong or not working. Joy is cultivated through regular practice. However, it doesn’t mean we won’t have the same stressors or worries; rather, think of joy as one of your ‘go-to’ life tools that can be put into action when dealing with unexpected curveballs.
Reasons to choose joy:
- Joy helps to build resilience to get us through the tough stuff.
- Joy makes our busy day better.
- Joy reduces stress when life is challenging.
- Joy makes us feel lighter.
- Joy can positively impact those around us.
So, how do we give the gift of joy to ourselves? Begin by making it a daily habit to add a daily dose of joy into your life today. Think about what brings you calm, fun, or fills your heart. Here are a few ways to get started.
- Pause for 15 minutes daily to notice and appreciate the joy gems (life’s simple pleasures) e.g., hot shower, a hug, a sunset or sleeping in.
- Have a judgment-free day- be kind to yourself by focusing on what’s good and right in your life rather than what’s wrong with it.
- Write a Joy Life List – what do you want to do, see or create? Put the list where you can see it and choose one each day.
- Listen to music, dance or sing – music lifts your mood, movement improves muscle tone and increases energy. It will help you to tune out the unnecessary noise.
- Start or end your day by journaling with a prompt – “how does joy show up in my life?”
Even when we are at our lowest, a spark of joy helps us to keep moving forward, and to live our life more purposefully. The point is if you pour in ‘good-stuff’ over a day, a week or a month, you will start to notice the benefits of living joyfully. When we are joyful, we are typically smiling more, we feel lighter inside, and our response is calmer to deal with life’s challenges with more ease and grace. These moments of delight and wonder add up to create our joy-filled life story. When you feel and share joy, it fills up our joyful reserves. Become a joy spreader!
Michelle Burke and Lilimani de Silva are the creators of Joy Cards, 48 motivational activity cards to boost your energy, lift your mood and lower stress. Michelle is a sought-after leadership and burnout coach, facilitator, founder and CEO of Energy Catalyst Group, a consulting and training company for well-being. Over her twenty-year career, she gained a deep appreciation and perspective working with people and cultures from all walks of life. Michelle has trained thousands of participants to make positive change—bridging communication gaps getting in the way of a thriving workplace and a joy-filled life. Her mindfulness coaching helps women to be empowered, take time out and to lower stress. Garnering rave reviews, clients include Stanford University, Microsoft, Sony PlayStation, Snap Inc.. She’s been featured in Business Week Magazine, Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Chronicle, and Wall Street Journal. Michelle is the coauthor of 15 Minute Pause: A Radical Reboot for Busy People. She partnered with coauthor Lilamani de Silva to create Joy Cards, and ReENERGIZE Your Life, an online self-care program. Michelle enjoys time with loved ones, cooking, fun adventures, reading, sports, and walking her dog Jadie.
Lilamani de Silva, MSc, has had an eclectic career across multiple industries, including media relations, TV production, and the creation of innovative products for home, work and play with coauthor, Michelle Burke. She also worked for London Zoo, BBC World, and has helped produce documentaries for Discovery, Animal Planet, and ITV. An avid self-taught painter, Lilamani has sold her artwork worldwide. Her paintings illustrate Joy Cards. Her many experiences have opened her mind to different cultures and perspectives, which are reflected in her artwork and other projects. In her spare time, Lilamani enjoys being active, traveling, reading, painting, and spending time with loved ones.
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