By: Jason Airy

On “The Longing,” Harry Kappen opens a door into a universal human experience: the quiet war between what we feel and what we think. Written during a life-altering decision to leave the Netherlands and begin a new chapter in his wife’s homeland of Mexico, the song captures the tug-of-war between loyalty, love, fear, and hope with rare honesty. As a lifelong musician and music therapist, Kappen doesn’t shy away from emotional truth; instead, he leans into it, shaping introspection into melody and tension into movement. In this candid conversation, he reflects on what it means to choose a path, to observe one’s own heart with clarity, and to embrace the mystery that makes longing such a powerful force in being human.

Harry, “The Longing” is such an honest and vulnerable song. What gave you the courage to share this deeply personal internal struggle with the world?

At the end of last year, I was faced with the choice of staying in the Netherlands or returning to my wife’s homeland, which is Mexico. She lived with me in the Netherlands for two years and also decided to temporarily leave her family and friends behind, so I decided to contribute and do the same for the coming years. And that indeed creates a struggle between head and heart. And I have no qualms about sharing this with others because I am convinced that this so-called contradiction between heart and mind is universally experienced.

You write so openly about the battle between head and heart. When in your life have you felt that tension the strongest, and how did it shape who you are today?

I encounter situations where this conflict surfaces so often. You wonder: Am I doing the right thing? What are the consequences for me, for others? Is it financially sound? Etc., etc. In my work as a music therapist, I also often encounter clients with this question: Am I choosing myself, or am I loyal? Who am I to decide? Do I comply with the wishes of others, or do I choose myself?

Moving to Mexico was when I felt this conflict most acutely. But now that I’ve made that move, I’m also realizing that the world isn’t as big as it used to be. I may have more contact with my loved ones than before, but now it’s via the internet and video calls. And if necessary, I can be back in the Netherlands within 24 hours.

Your music often blends emotional reflection with real strength. What did you learn about yourself while creating this song?

As I mentioned, my profession is music therapy, so reflection is certainly no stranger to me. It’s become second nature in how I approach difficult situations. What I’ve learned at my age is that I want to live “in the moment” even more than I did before. Understandably, the realization that life is short is much more prevalent than before.

The creation of “The Longing” wasn’t that difficult; I did want it to be a dynamic song so that the musical difference between heart and mind would be evident. I’m very pleased with the outcome.

There’s a moment in “The Longing” where the music lifts and opens up. What were you hoping listeners would feel in that powerful transition?

Of course, everyone is entitled to feel whatever they want. For some, the softer pieces represent a connection to the heart, while for others, the connection between the heart and a sense of freedom is more evident in the more intense pieces or the solo. That’s a very personal experience for everyone. The difference in the song’s dynamics was the most important thing for me. That’s the beauty of music; everyone can give their own interpretation. In that respect, I’m the one who simply sets the tone, and the listener follows through.

This song shows both the challenges and the beauty of being human. How do you stay grounded when life pulls you in so many directions at once?

I think it’s a matter of experience. Over the years, you recognize life’s patterns more and more effectively. And you also know better what you, as an individual, can influence and what you can’t. It helps me to occasionally distance myself from situations and take a more observant position. That’s how I see myself writing songs; I observe, I experience and comment, I feel, I experiment, and ultimately try to shape it into a form that I find acceptable and interesting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcrFNuW8Pg0 

Your move to Mexico and the changes in your personal life seem to have sparked new artistic energy. How has this chapter influenced your songwriting?

There’s certainly plenty to write about. I’m currently in the process of creating, writing, and recording my next album, which is expected to be released early next year. The music is finished, and I’m now writing the lyrics. And yes, the topics often relate to the transition from Europe to Mexico, simply because it’s relevant to my daily life these days.

You’ve worn many hats—musician, therapist, teacher. How do your experiences working with others emotionally inform the way you create music like this?

I’ve been a musician my whole life, and my musical influences are primarily from the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s, and from musicians like David Bowie, Tom Yorke, Lennon and McCartney, Prince, and many others. This has helped me develop my own style. Playing and experimenting with many other musicians, such as Hanneke Kappen, Hajo Francken, Jeroen Goeijers, and Koop Hofman, has also shaped my musicality.

Working as a music therapist and teacher has made me much more aware and adept at conveying my musical creativity. I also write about topics that resonate with me today. These can be anything from political issues and personal experiences to global trends and so on.

But it has also taught me to have an open mind towards current musical developments, which is why I really enjoy today’s musicians as Genevieve Artadi, Louis Cole, Thundercat, Matteo Mancuso, H.E.R., etc.

If someone listening to “The Longing” is going through a similar inner conflict, what’s the one message you hope they take away from the song?

Learn to distance yourself from things, learn to reflect; ask yourself, where do my feelings come from? What is my role in this, and what comes from outside? What can I influence, and what can’t I? Enjoy the things around you. And don’t see it as a “conflict” in the sense of a battle, but rather as a phenomenon you can view from multiple perspectives.

But also: you don’t have to solve everything; things happen as they do. Enjoy the mystery of life, and enjoy the longing for something or someone. Without mystery, there is no “Longing.” After all, nothing is irreversible, except death.