Co-parenting has often been a contentious and emotionally charged process driven by traditional adversarial court battles. This approach, however, is now changing, brought about by collaborative approaches from family law specialist Gabriella Pomare, who was also a finalist in the 2023 and 2024 Lawyers Weekly Partner of the Year Awards in the Family Law category.
Based in Australia, Pomare promotes a more amicable vision for co-parenting that emphasizes collaboration, dignity, and the well-being of children. She uses her family law knowledge and personal experiences raising her 3 year old, Teddy, to reshape how separated families should navigate co-parenting today.
Facing the Reality of Family Separation
Pomare’s professional journey did not start only in the legal field but also in journalism. During her university days, she wrote for various ACP Magazine titles, honing her communication skills and providing a unique storytelling perspective. Transitioning into law, she served as an Associate to a Justice of the Family Court of Australia, gaining first hand insight into the judicial process and the intricacies of family law.
During these years, Pomare has seen how the adversarial nature of the court system can exacerbate family tensions and create an environment of conflict where each side fights for their interests. The emotional toll of these family cases manifests in various ways, including anxiety, depression, strained relationships, and even long-term psychological effects.
Pomare says, “The emotional baggage and resentments carried over from the courtroom can make it difficult to move forward constructively and collaboratively, potentially leading to conflicts and legal disputes that ultimately affect children.”
While the court’s approval or ruling may provide a sense of resolution, for Pomare, the work does not stop there. Separated parents now face complex and often challenging co-parenting arrangements, asset division, and implementing court orders.
Understanding this complexity, not just through her professional experience but also as a separated mother co-parenting her son, Pomare developed a passion for guiding parents through their new journey of family relationships. Through her Collaborative Co-Parent, she promotes an approach focusing on dignity, respect, and communication.
The Pomare Way of Collaborative Co-Parenting
Pomare’s “The Collaborative Co-Parent” is an online resource dedicated to helping separated families co-parent effectively. The platform offers practical advice and support to families facing separation challenges through short-form content like Instagram videos and photos and a free co-parenting ebook.
Pomare explains that her approach to co-parenting departs from the traditional adversarial model, in which parents often find themselves pitted against each other in a battle for custody and control. Instead, she advocates for a collaborative mindset, where the well-being of the children takes precedence over personal grievances.
Instead, she aims to connect with separated families personally, offering empathy and practical solutions. This leads to her belief that uncoupling does not have to equate to breaking up the family unit. Instead, they enter into new family dynamics that are physically separated yet collaborative and cooperative for the children.
Practically, this means separated parents work together, talk, and agree on things not for their own sake but for their children, to raise them still in a healthy and positive environment despite the emotional toil and adjustment separation brings.
Pomare explains, “Learning to communicate effectively and have positive dialogue is often the first step to effective co-parenting. By implementing a set of agreed-upon rules for your co-parenting relationship, parents give their children the gift of safety, security, and stability following separation.”
A Partner in the Journey
Pomare recognizes that effective co-parenting is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Each family is unique, with its different dynamics, challenges, and personalities. This understanding is the cornerstone of her approach, as she emphasizes the importance of establishing deep and personal connections with the families she guides. She acknowledges that the process can be challenging. Yet, her consistent and collaborative approach enables open communication, the resolution of disagreements, and the development of relevant and practical strategies for each family.
“I aim to be a partner for families as they start this new chapter,” Pomare explains. “My goal is to simplify the situation and alleviate stress, allowing all members to move forward with joy and newfound hope.”
Disclaimer: “The content in this article is provided for general knowledge. It does not constitute legal advice, and readers should seek advice from qualified legal professionals regarding particular cases or situations.”
Published by: Nelly Chavez
