When it comes to describing abuse, it’s never easy. Why? Because at times, we are not even aware that it was abuse. The fear of what people would say, the anxiousness of how they might react, and the combined feeling of embarrassment and cursing own ourselves for not knowing how we had gone through such a horrible experience – letting it all happen, knowing deep down something was wrong, yet couldn’t stop it from happening. Some of us were too young to comprehend the concept of abuse, while others were helpless.
Abusers do not look at your age or sexuality. All they care about is how to fulfill their urge and satisfy the monstrous hunger. In this world, people of every age have undergone abuse of some sort. Rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional or psychological abuse, and molestation are just a few of the types of abuse people go through all around the world daily.
“The internal enemy is far more dangerous than the external enemy.”
One thing about abuse is that someone within our proximity mostly does it. Sometimes they are our relatives, other times they can be some close friends. Outsiders threaten us but the people closest to us are far more dangerous than strangers.
According to Sergine Trazile – the author of Broken Wings, “As someone who had lived with trauma in her early years, I can tell you that the trauma never stops haunting you, even when it is over. I, too, like other survivors, have forgotten much of my past. But the one thing that I clearly remember is the abuse done to me and how it made me feel.”
The Triggers.
The trauma never leaves you. You may be living everyday life, thinking that you have everything figured out, but it will keep on haunting you back. The fear and embarrassment of it happening again and the constant feeling that you are responsible for everything that has occurred just never goes away. It’s like a never-ending cycle of trauma and disturbance.
“You are afraid the abuser would turn the story around if you dared speak a word, and the world would either blame you or trust the abuser instead of standing with you.”
Things as little as a word, a glimpse of a picture, or anything else can bring back all those upsetting memories that we have been trying to hide under the rug all this time.
We may feel that we can keep it all to ourselves and never let a soul know about it, but the truth is that letting it out and seeking help is the only way of healing. Otherwise, this remorse and regret will torment your mental and emotional health and everyone around you, especially the people you love the most.
“You can either choose to save yourself, or you remain unsaved.”
Awareness is the Key.
Knowing how to deal with abuse is the most crucial thing one must know of in today’s world. Some teenagers are taught from an early age how to turn down sexual advances in person and online, but then there are others who may not be aware of how adults can act to earn their trust. Studies state that 11 percent of teens have experienced unwanted solicitations online; even the young children aren’t safe and can become targets of perpetrators through certain games.
It has become more critical than ever to teach children and even adults how to react when someone is trying to abuse them physically, emotionally, or even online. To stay safe in the real world and on the web, learn grooming prevention strategies.
Parents should start making their children aware of the abuse from a very young age. Children should be taught about body safety, appropriate touch, and consent. They should know how to say no and report grooming behaviors – like adults encouraging them to keep secrets from their parents or using sexual language when talking to them – immediately to their parents. Parents should gain their children’s trust and make them feel safe for talking about any unwanted incident that may happen with them. They should remind children to discuss any unsolicited gifts or spend alone time with adults apart from their caregivers.
“Let your child know that it’s okay to talk to you about anything.”
Some children and even adults are uncomfortable about saying no, especially to adults or authority figures. Know that it’s okay to leave if someone is making you feel uncomfortable or scared.
Teach your children if they feel that something wrong is about to happen, they can excuse themselves by saying that they’re going to the bathroom. Instruct them to call you if they feel like they are in danger. Do not only rely on yourself, instead give them a few more emergency numbers of other trusted adults who can help them as soon as possible just in case they need to get out of a scary situation.
Why is it Hard for the Survivors to Come Out? 
“How would you feel if you met an accident and people would tell you that you went on to the road to get your bones broken purposely?”
Insane, right? But that’s what usually happens.
Some abuse survivors are nervous to talk about abuse prevention, as it might trigger their past traumas. However, you know that it’s okay to talk about things that make you feel uncomfortable.
Parents and communities should encourage open communication and let people know that they won’t get in trouble if they talk about people who make them feel uncomfortable. Or even if there is someone online whose presence is disturbing their mental peace.
The cycle of abuse will get minimum if we encourage preventative strategies and teach our children actions to prevent themselves from getting abused. If you have any survivors of abuse within your circle, keep communication lines open between you and them. Try to be there for them keep them safe as they grow out of the situation.
Learn About Firsthand Experience of The Survivor of Abuse.
As said in the beginning, it is hard to listen to the trauma a survivor of abuse has to go through. But once you learn about it, you will be able to understand them better. Every action taken by the survivor would make more sense. You will be able to relate better and learn how to be there for your loved ones in this time of need when they desperately seek help but are afraid to ask for it.
If you want to learn about the experience they have gone through, try reading the stories survivors share online. You can also read the memoir “Broken Wings,” written by Sergine Trazile, explaining how she was abused and raped repeatedly in her early years and how she had dealt with this terrorizing situation all by herself.
She writes in her book, “The book is intended to show the importance of self-love on the road to healing from trauma. As part of the healing process, you need to spend time with yourself focusing on daily improvement, stay happy to cope, stand up to your abusers, and believe in yourself. This will boost your confidence and lead you towards freedom. Healing is a necessary process, and when you manage to heal, teach others as well.” – Sergine Trazile
